- The Incandescent
I Have Been Wondering
Updated: Dec 31, 2020

I have been wondering
How this has happened to me
I am just a placeholder
Nothing without its burden
Yet overlooked even when carrying
The weight of the world
On my mind
I have been wondering
How I came to be
How was I lost in this endless sea
Of endless misery
So many things I should remember
A shopping list of headaches
Cold and unfamiliar
But God shows no mercy
At least not to people like me
I have been wondering
Questions swirling around my head
Bumping around, surfacing
The déjà vu is all encompassing
Life doesn’t discriminate*
Between the sinners and the saints
It takes and it takes
I have been wondering
Why am I treated like royalty
Why do people feel like
They have an obligation to help me
I know what they say behind my back
Or sometimes, in front of me
They think I can’t understand
Just ‘cause I can’t recall
Anything at all
I have been wondering
Who decided that I couldn’t know?
Know why I have to undergo
This kind of woe
They say
Your mind is too fragile
too weak
We have to slowly introduce the meek
We got to feed them scraps
that only pique their curiosity
Torturing them but convincing ourselves
Otherwise
In this sadistic world
Who cares about
Someone with a condition
Like me.
*after "Hamilton: An American Musical"
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Bio: Adrian Wang is a rising seventh grader who attends Scarsdale Middle School, in Westchester, NY. He recently has developed a love for vignettes, but also does novel writing. He hopes to give the reader a strong sense of tone through his pieces, and wants the reader to be fully immersed in his characters and world. When he’s not writing, you can find him studying or playing water polo.