I am NOT
Updated: Dec 31, 2020
after Stray Kids
If all the clay is shaped the same, how can I be considered different? I am not.
This shape, it deceives me; they attempt to mould me into perfection. I am not.
Get out, this is my district. Don’t talk to me unless you have an answer
To my question. As of now, the only answer I have is that I am not.
It’s a case with no evidence that no one asked me to solve; this reflection is blank.
Confusion is encompassing; who is this person in the mirror? I am not.
Awakened by confusion surrounding my clarity. Was I asleep all this time?
My opened eyes can’t find an answer, so why should I stay awake? I am not.
Does the answer even exist? Being a rock seems easier than chasing something
nonexistent; it’s tiring. It’s useless to fantasize about being a rock when I am not.
A voice, unlike the others, sings softly to me: keep on going,
You’re doing well. A voice who tells me it’s okay that I am not.
Am I too scared to unlock my 3rd eye? Is it actually locked or just closed?
Do I fear what the eye will see? An answer is better than being stuck with “I am not”.
I will not stop at I am not. My questions deserve answers and I will take
my time to find them, at my own pace. If I’m not, I am not, then I am who?
Bio: Allie Dewdney is a 13-year-old Asian American writer. They were born in San Jose, California, but spent most of their life in Hong Kong. Currently, Allie lives in New York, on their couch where they watch Asian dramas and procrastinate all day. Allie was a mentee in the 2020 Incandescent Studio program.
The Incandescent Studio Blog Series
Note: photo credit to Wix