My Ceremonious Abandonment

Artwork by Fatema Rahaman, staff poet and artist

I’m Lady Macbeth at my ceremonious abandonment.

No one sees the mehendi thorns on my palms dripping scarlet.

Adulthood is a survivor’s guilt and I’m living it

Despicably. Wishing that you had lived to feel-

The meat between your teeth when you tear with your jaw.

The spoils of rage captured during maidenhood and how it stings raw.

The rivets of punctured veins run red like the sun set I wish to see.

But anger is for daughters and I wish you, my mother,

Lived immortal in the running blue waters of your girlhood,

Where the pastures were pure and untainted by what they would see.

Let these be the only day of our lives worth remembering,

And I will take the mantle and the shield from your hands.

And I will take the bridal dupatta off your shoulders

before you could ever take it

And I will crown myself in the skeleton lace from my ancestors’ closet,

As I take my seat on the high platform besides the shepherd

At my ceremonious abandonment.

Every road leads to roaming pastures where sheep

are raised for the slaughterhouses, with garlands down their neck.

Every prophet was a shepherd, the image of a man surveying

The valleys and reaching to the beasts with the curved ribs

With kind hands. Hands that tug on wreaths and pull marigolds apart.

Martyrs lay down their lives for their country to be free

When every road leads to the ritual altar, where are we?

No one sees the mehendi thorns on my palms dripping scarlet.

The boulders we carry on our shoulders and the bone fractures

That pile to an invisible height are bought and sold as testament

To piety and patience, when they should have been measured in rosaries.

I haven’t been given many miracles, but I have been given enough.

If I grow up, I could choose my family. I could rest and I could leave.

I could watch the sun set and sit still for nightfall. Burn the lace at the hearth

And let it guide the ghosts that haunt the meadows and the waters away.

But, I’m Lady Macbeth at my ceremonious abandonment.

And no one can see the mehendi thorns on my palms dripping scarlet.

And there I hold an ember of maidenhood reckoning.

~

Every few things run as deep and as universal as a toxic patriarchy and the abuse that it promotes. Through this poem, I observed the effects that this has upon marriage and the life of a woman in South Asian culture. Marriage is subverted and understood to be the end of a woman's freedom and connection to her family, a ceremonious abandonment. Emotional, physical, financial abuse is not just tolerated, but demanded due to societal expectations. This occurs regardless of location, whether within South Asia or diaspora communities. For the sake of our communities, this has to change.

What You Can Do:

Invest in Women's Education Globally. As women gain education and the ability for financial independence, they can avoid abusive situations where they have no other option for survival. Consider sponsoring a student through Speak Up for the Poor's Girl's Education Program or offering a one time donation to organizations such as The Malala Fund.

Encourage an Equal Sharing of Responsibility at Home. The sexual division of labor results in each gender's work being invisible to the other, which causes deep resentment. To create a more supportive environment, work with your family such that everyone helps with household chores and are capable of working on tasks that are both stereotypically feminine and masculine.

Fatema Rahaman is the creative writing team director and a poet for the Incandescent Review. Her work is often inspired by her culture and love for imagery and nature. She has been previously published by Hey Young Writers and her work has been recognized by New York Times and Molloy College.